Don’t ask me how many weeks that has passed since that fateful morning when I woke up to find that Britain had made the biggest mistake in history, effectively pushing the self destruct button ,stepping into a time machine that doesn’t do fast forward, but rewind only, and at an alarming pace too.

For weeks after the referendum,I was in a mess along with ,dare I say, everyone else, in my position. I started a Facebook group for EU citizens living in the UK and for Brits residing in other EU countries, and we are still growing in numbers by the day. We come from all over Europe, and we have one thing in common, we are worried and incredibly anxious about what will happen to us post- Brexit. The general advice seems to be to apply for Permanent Residence. If you are a Brit living in the UK and you don’t have any plans of leaving this (sinking?) island, but you want to try and understand what us EU citizens in the UK are going through ? Then take a look at the application for Permanent Residence for EEA citizens. If you are a lifelong insomniac, I can guarantee that reading only the first few pages will be enough to put you to sleep. As a self employed EU citizen, the form immediately becomes even more complicated to fill in. The amount of proof that one needs to submit is beyond ludicrous. And if you are a fellow EU citizen about to fill in this tedious form, read the guidelines with a magnifying glass, preferably after you have had a few strong espressos, just in case you miss out on any minor details that will ensure that your application gets declined. I had spent one cartridge printing out bank statements and other various documents before reading the small print…only ORIGINALS and NO print out’s allowed. If you do print out your bank statements, then you must get each paged stamped at your bank. I am not quite sure how that stressed out woman at my local branch will deal with me cheerfully handing her a pile with hundreds of pages first thing on Monday morning ,-  “Would you mind stamping each one ? Just in case you have nothing more important to do “. Then there are the doctor’s letters, the copy of my rental contract, proof of paying my council tax, national insurance, clients references and contracts, a sheet detailing every single date that I have been out of the country, etc etc etc. One member of the group that I run had to send of 3 kilos of documentation with their application…poor sod at the Home Office who will have to read through all that !

Am I angry about the situation that I am in ? I feel resentful, yes. But I no longer let it consume me, I treasure my sanity far too much. Do I let my worries keep me up at night ? No more. I don’t function without my 7 hours a night. All I can do is to apply for Permanent Residence and hope for the best. The rational and sensible voice inside my head tells me that surely they cannot kick out a mother of a child who is half British, who is born and raised here and who cannot speak  word of Swedish. But then again, how rational is this current government ?

At the end of the day, this country is my Home. I have lived here for over half my life, I have paid my taxes here, I have fully  integrated into the British society, and I think that I and my fellow EU citizens who are settled in the UK  have as much right as anyone else to be here. But whether May and her croonies thinks the same, that remains to be seen…